New! 100% Effective, Completely Humanitarian RatTrap^TM
Environmentally Safe

OTHER RATTRAPS ARE CRUEL IN THAT THEY KILL THE RAT THROUGH POISONING, A BROKEN SPINE, OR STARVATION — OR THEY LEAVE YOU WITH THE PROBLEM OF WHAT TO DO WITH THE LIVE RAT YOU'VE JUST CAUGHT. AFTER ALL, YOU CAN ONLY KEEP SO MANY AS PETS, EVEN IF YOU DON'T MIND RISKING DISEASE. IF YOU RELEASE THEM THOUGH, THEY MIGHT COME BACK! OUR NEW HUMANITARIAN RATTRAP SOLVES ALL THESE PROBLEMS, WHEN PROPERLY CALIBRATED. HOW DOES IT WORK? WELL, THE DETAILS ARE TOO COMPLICATED TO THE LAYMAN AND ALSO A WELL-KEPT PROPRIETARY SECRET, BUT THE GENERAL IDEA IS THAT THE RATS ENTER THE TRAP, AND ARE GONE, NEVER TO BE SEEN BY YOU OR YOUR FAMILY AGAIN. THE TRAP NEVER NEEDS TO BE CLEANED BUT DOES REQUIRE A LARGE POWER SUPPLY. DON'T WORRY THOUGH; THE RATS AREN'T ELECTROCUTED. INSTEAD, THEY ARE DROPPED FIFTEEN MILLION YEARS INTO THE FUTURE THROUGH OUR SPECIALLY GENERATED, PATENTED PERSONAL MULTIDIMENSIONAL TIME FORCE-FIELD. LONG AFTER THE EXTINCTION OF MANKIND, YOUR RAT FRIENDS WILL LEAD HAPPY RAT LIVES IN A BEAUTIFUL PARADISE, FLOURISHING IN A PERIOD THAT IS TRULY RAT-FRIENDLY. IT'S THE ONLY COMPLETELY ECOLOGICALLY-FRIENDLY SOLUTION AVAILABLE. AS AN ADDED BONUS, IT WORKS WITH MICE WITH NO SPECIAL ADJUSTMENTS. BE SURE TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR OUR INTRODUCTION THIS SUMMER OF BUG-ZAPPERS FOR YOUR PORCH, YARD OR KITCHEN, WORKING ON THE SAME PRINCIPLE. ADVANCED COMPUTER ALGORITHMS USING NEURAL NETS WILL IDENTIFY THE TYPE OF BUG ENTERING THE DEVICE AND MAKE ADJUSTMENTS IN REAL-TIME TO SEND EACH DIFFERENT TYPE OF BUG TO A TIME AT WHICH IT IS ESTIMATED TO BE MOST LIKELY TO FLOURISH.

For a limited time only, this device can be yours for only $1995.00 plus tax and shipping. It may seem expensive, but just think of what you're getting, and moreso — think of how you're helping the environment. Think globally, act locally. Every little bit helps. Save a little today. Every great endeavor begins with a single step. It takes two to make reality objective. A penny invested in the future is a wise expenditure.

To order yours today, or for more information — have your debit-card & National ID Number ready — and call our toll-free number:  1-800-HAPY-RAT.  Do it today!
 

 
 

⁺BECAUSE OF THE RESULTS OF A RECENT LAWSUIT, WE MUST TELL YOU THAT THIS DEVICE DOES NOT WORK ON COMPUTER BUGS.