The article, which I’m sure you’ve already seen, focuses on a report which the US government has released just now called “The Roswell Report—Case Closed”.

I don’t have much of an opinion on whether or not anything did or didn’t occur at Roswell. But the book apparently claims that people who found four-fingered alien remains in the desert actually found crash dummies. Apparently, according to the government report, there was a problem with the design of the dummys and they had a propensity to lose a single finger from each hand during impact. (ie: government admits that people found human-like figures with four fingers in the desert near Roswell.) The government was really testing secret nuclear sensing high-flying aircraft—accounting for their acknowledged ‘cover-up’ previously (ie: government acknowledges that Roswell cover up took place.) in that they claimed that the crash was a weather balloon.  The tossing of mannequins, or crash-test dummies, out of balloons, was done as part of the space program to determine whether or not humans could parachute out of spacecraft. (ie: government announces that space program really started an entire decade earlier (1947) than was previously thought—rather than as a result from the Soviet launching of Sputnik in 1957.) There’s a 8-inch tall picture of the dummies on the front page. For some reason, they carted the dummies away on stretchers and sometimes put them into body bags, for unexplained reasons, thus accounting for sightings. (ie: government admits to carting body-like things away from Roswell site in stretchers and in body bags.) They also give a list of the exact objects that were found by the Roswell rancher — Scotch tape (How do they know the brand name? When was Scotch trademarked?), wooden sticks, tape with flowers on it, mistaken for alien hieroglyphs (ie: government determines that alien hieroglyphs found at Roswell site was only tape with flowers printed in it, as commonly used in the building of nuclear-sensing high-flying aircraft), and a strong fabric substance like mylar which when crumbled, returns to its original shape, as used in mylar balloons (Does mylar really do this? Was mylar used in early balloons?). They admit that the commanding officer of the Airforce base, a very serious and careful man, really did order the issuance of a press release claiming that it found a crashed alien spaceship, but that it was a mistake. The strange body with an enormous head was actually a US serviceman whose head swelled up after an injury. (ie: Government acknowledges and explains sightings of strange being with enormous head.)

OK, so do you see the questions I have? The questions are all “Huh?” The whole article looks like rank gibberish to me.  Why would anyone need to put crash test dummies in body bags and stretchers? Which is it? Crash test balloons or nuclear sensing high-flying aircraft? Etc.

Well, I now have an official Roswell opinion for you, “What the F**k?!" There you have it.

Ciao Baby. As Julius Caesar once said (rather appropriately): Don’t let the bastards wear you down — Illegitimus non carborundum.